The L word

I dont use red hearts emoji any color but red because to me it means a speical kind of love. The kinda love i have only had with my hubby. The only kind of love that has lasted in my life. I have been hurt so many times.

Yet i can love more than one person, been poly 8 yrs and truly ever loved 2 out side of my lion.

This summer someone latched on while feeling NRE and *fell in love* with me and got jealousof my kids and hubby. He went bye bye real quick. I dont have time for that or to explain how unhealthy that even is. Im married, and happy. And that isnt fucking changing.

Tower and I are fireworks and butterflies. Thanks NRE. Now i think we are dancing around that word. And i told him that word bothers me. But we never got into why.

Today while with bff she asked “what if on ur trip he says he loves you, are you gunna dump him and run?” No!

But i dont know that i can say it back because so many times in my life i tell someone i love then and i lose them. The feelings might be there but the label of loving them makes me fearful of possibly being hurt.