Polyamorous =/= Open

keystrokes-and-coffee-cups:

Reminder that just because a person is in a polyamorous relationship, this does not mean that they are also actively looking for another/more partner(s). For example, some people in polyamorous relationships are part of closed, polyfidelitous groups where the members only date each other.

Reminder that just because a person is in an open relationship, this does not mean that they are polyamorous. Some people in open relationships are specifically seeking casual sex, or may be swingers open to play but not additional emotional relationships, or may may be kinky people looking to have an itch scratched and only that.

There are MANY ways to practice non-monogamy, many of which are ethical, many of which work out very well for people to fit their particular needs, and this is what makes them valid life choices. But let us stop equating polyamory with availability, and availability with polyamory. Polyamory and availability are things that can coexist in the same person, but they are NOT the same thing.

Particularly if you are interested in someone who is open and/or polyamorous, take the time to talk with them about their relationship dynamic(s), ask questions if you don’t understand and take the time to LISTEN to their answers, rather than just assuming. It will save you (and them) so many headaches.