Bruised but never Broken

Its sunday, Im sitting in a empty hospital parking lot 2.5 hrs from home, at 11p alone.

Last week My own heart was hit hard with a lovely emotional one-two punch Tue & wed. While trying to shake off the tears Saturday, I received a phone call saying that we needed to get my step daughter to Reno immediately to say her goodbyes to her maternal grandfather less than 20% of his heart is working. Left home at 11p saturday night. We will return home tomorrow (monday). To resume work school and prep for a birthday party friday. However she is staying bed side with him tonight. Her plate has been so full with a break up, just started her first year of college, & her 18th birthday is next week.

While up here with my daughters(step) I hear through the Grapevine of drama that runs rampant on this bio maternal side of the family, my oldest who lives here in reno now with her fiance, & soon to be 19 y.o herself is pregnant. Her and her fiance have done a lot better than I thought they would being out on their own, after being homeless and still refusing to tell us or let us help, but there are by no means ready for a child. Apparently she’s planning on sitting us down this weekend to tell us when she comes down to visit during her sister’s birthday party. I have no idea the right way to react to this.

My heart hurts, my normal tribe of comfort isnt in place or wants to toss a few to many “told you so” my direction, so I’ve just been building a few more walls and just keep moving forward.

Words can not express how badly I need a genuine healing hug, and feel like I have no one to turn to.

Momma bear is bruused, but strong for her baby bears, while trying to make the best choices each step of the way.

I’m so tired and bruised.