polywitchwithawolf:

I always wondered…

When I was monogamous and dating, even after I got married, I always wondered how men figured out that they found “the one.” Skipping over the whole notion of there necessarily only being one, I get monogamy is what some people want and works for them.

But as a woman it’s always assumed HE will ask YOU when he figured it out. That’s the quintessential story right? She is longing and waiting until he pops the question.

Now when I was dating monogamously and knew I wanted to get married eventually my criteria for maintaining a relationship was that I could see myself marrying the person I was dating. Maybe not right then, but if we were dating you had yet to disqualify yourself as a possibility. Given this view I always wondered how a guy figured out that a person had fulfilled all their requirements and that they wanted this person forever. How does that realization go?

And then Sunday happened. I had gotten back from my first coffee date via OKC, which went rather well, and my boyfriend and I were driving back to his place. We had been talking about our adventures in internet dating and plans for our business venture. There was a lull in the conversation and I looked over at him and just felt this overwhelming thing.

I was excited and happy with my date, but I was excited to share it with him. I was hit with how much I loved the security and everyday part of our relationship. Dating is exhausting, but the thrill of something new and different is nice. But I was so happy and grateful that my boyfriend wasn’t new. He was my everyday, my forever. I knew whatever came from dating he would be with me always.

I get it now. I know what my husband felt when he, spontaneously, asked me to marry him all those years ago. I think about missing out on all of this if we hadn’t tried polyamory.

I never knew there was a hole in my life that was waiting for my boyfriend to fill. I would have never known how much better it could have gotten.

I never want to be without him in my life; and now I understand.

😍😍😍😍😍