forkedprocess:

Such a great read. An excerpt:

Because I’m in a relationship that’s outside our culture’s default setting of monogamy, some people perceive it as dangerous….They want to hear my contingency plans, how I’ve disaster-proofed my life. If I’ve made this choice, people assume, I must be an expert — I’m playing the relationship game on a very high difficulty setting, aren’t I?

But what if I’m not an expert? Am I then only a fool? ….My relationship being open doesn’t seem inherently more dangerous to me….relationships fail even when they’re monogamous — people leave each other, fall in love with someone else, let things wear away or implode. Shit happens.…

I don’t at all condemn monogamy, but when my monogamous friends ask these questions, I think: Do you have it all figured out? Are you monogamous because you’re an expert in monogamy, or are you monogamous because you just are?

The Frustration of Being an Open-Relationship Guru to All My Friends