Nor-cal, 33y.o, mom, wife, spoonie…. My life is one of those "had to be there" jokes. Think of it as a peek in to my mind. some NSFW/18+ only please, all most everything is a repost from other social media platform that i can relate with or love. Common topics include: Moon, Space, Coffee, Love, Depression, feelings, poly, ASD & Fibromyalgia
Author: Pocket.Poly
Honestly Happy
Tonight things worked out to spend time together. I was so giddy just to see him. (Him needs a nick-name) We met up at round table and laughed like old friends. A comfort and familiarity that I shouldn’t have yet.
We went back to his place for 3 hrs. Snuggled and I wished I could have stayed the whole night there. He insisted on walking me out when I left, and again ‘text me when you get home safe’
I’m so dumbfounded by him. Like where has this amazing human been all this time, why couldn’t I have met him sooner? But for now I will simply enjoy that our paths are intertwined now. And enjoy the time I have with him. Because he makes me feel beautiful, valued, appreciated, and special.
My oldest daughter was the last to know. Because she didnt live here when we came out to her sister, and with her moving back home she needed to know why mom went out more than before.
She said she knew in high school but was shocked it’s been 10+ years of poly.
She was so okay with it and said she’s so glad that her dad and I find something that works for us. She said if more people could talk about there needs openly, more people would be happier. ( hell ya shes been listening to me all these years after all)
Polyamory is complex. The highs and lows make you feel crazy. The new and exciting old and mundane, the so busy your head spins and you miss your partners, to over loved and needing alone time. It’s the hardest, most rewarding, painful, best thing I’ve ever done in my whole life.
The last 10 years of polyam, leaves me suspiciously confused on people. They say they understand, but they don’t typically know what they want. 💓Lessons I have learned with each relationship have giving me personal growth in ways I would have missed out on in any other traditional way of thinking. I feel each person has given me a gift in some way.💝
Emilie Autumn — ‘You, he said, are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.’
I’m as real as I can be. I will display my crazy out front like some tropical birds silly dance.🤸♀️ Because if that doesn’t scare people, they might be just enough crazy to stick around. But often times they think they can handle it, me, this….. but realize how real I am, that I want sappy💗, desire🔥, clothed time 😇as much (if not more) as naked time😈, how much I respect my husband and he I, while fully respecting my other relationships in a way most mono/poly-hierarchical struggle to do so.
I seem to cross paths with people in the oddest times in my life. When my world is massivily changing, crumbling, or at a stalemate, it’s always been the best & the worse of timing to try to start something new. Pushing me to juggle NRE, Real life, emotions, mental health and family like a grand performance of a professional juggler.🤹♀️
The few people who know the whole me, know the behind the scenes, know my personal demons and struggles with health see me pull this grand display off and say I do it with grace. The struggles are real, but the rewards that my poly life grant me… when I find them are beyond.. rewarding!💗 Personal growth, safe escapes that remind me I too am important, worthy, and desirable…and a fuller heart.
Everything, that was set up, and in a flow, is now new and changing. I have no idea what is safe to grasp on to when I feel like I am falling, or run with. 😒
My mind is a crazy place, my soul loves to laugh, my body enjoys passion, but if someone thinks they want me, I’m a whole package. And I have met very few willing to juggle 🤹♂️
It fucking sucked having to buy 4 new tires, oil change & alignments for my new ride $1200, and a new vacuum cleaner for the house yesterday ugh adulting.
But despite the cancelling of someone I really wanted to come over and spend time with (tentative plans tomorrow & I still got a hug). My skating buddy joined us for dinner and cards against humanity. Brought his kiddos. We had a good night, laughs, drinks, food.
Ended what could have been a totally shit day really well. Lightly buzzed…Now for snuggles with hubby.
Perpetual Commotion 