I Can’t drive a stick shift.

Is an on going joke among my close friends/family. I’ll explain more why this matters in a momment.

While it is a fact, despite all my “man cards” I can not drive a stick shift smoothly. First gear is so damn hard for me. While The other gears are smooth, like i know what im doing, i just cant get it down. It stalls out, or is a rough transition.

Oddly enough this metaphorically applies to my dating life in the most accurate of ways.

Therapist and I have worked out a lot of over whelming feelings. He tells me i have myself on the right tack, now to get back into connecting with people. That i need to reinvest in my poly life, human connection platonic or otherwise, its a self investment to move past the fear of being hurt again…

So i did. I went out had fun.

Then i get a random message from someone local on Open Minded. Sweet new people. So we chat. We shall call him Mr.Mom for right now. Busy cheer dad with 4 kids and strongly supports wifes career.

We chat, i wanna go slow, we meet for coffee and i tell myself slow, I tell my circle that i see potential but i dont wanna get excited… they laugh.. because i can’t drive a stick.

First gear, slow, isnt in my normal range. I kinda click or i dont.

With some one on one, alone time, on the calender sunday….. i think we just moved to 3rd gear in a grind’em till You find them kinda of way…

I set out to start that one foot at a time approach to getting my feet wet but i think i just took the diving board.

C’est la vie