in therapy my therapist and i were talking about my own feelings of self worth in relationships. and she asked me to say qualities about myself that someone else would be attracted to, on a romantic and platonic level. so i named some things like compassionate, empathetic, etc. and she said “you named things that you can give someone. ways you can serve, rather than ways that you are” and y’all..my mind was blown that’s gonna stick with me forever like she then proceed to tell me actual innate qualities about myself that she liked and thought anyone else would like as well and i hadn’t even considered those because like she said i was focused on things i could do outwardly to attract and maintain connections rather than who i was as a person..goddamn!!! thats tea!!!
With this in mind, this also makes me think of the ways people describe us. When people say the reasons that they love/like you or describe you as a person, are they only naming ways that you serve them? Are they equating your worth with how much you do for them?
ex. “You’re such a good listener. You’re so generous, you’re so compassionate. You’re always there for me. You always hold me down. You’re reliable”
vs.
“You’re so funny! You’re very vibrant. You’re creative, passionate, and intelligent. You’re optimistic. You’re so talented at ____” , etc. I think that’s very telling.
This is kind of mind blowing…
I suck at reading people
In person, i suck at reading people.
Tonight i saw fellow memebers of the private local poly group i’m in. I said hello to them. Huge step for me by the way.😊
I was leaveing the adult skate night early so i walked up to say goodbye and it was nice to see them in person when the male of the two hugged me a kissed me on the cheek. 😮
I havnt really talked to these people before, we comment on group threads but thats it. I cant say even after scrolling post he and i have even interacted on the group. 🤔
It sucks that I suck… i dont know if that was him showing interest? Hes overly lovey to everyone? Or the man has zero personal space and is DTF anyone? I dont know.
And that is why i dont like going out. Im left unsure about things, and being kissed kinda leaves me compleetly confused.
Adult skate night….
Saturday ….
Me…..
Therapist homework….
🤔 this should be interesting.
I like people with depth, I like people with emotion, I like people with a strong mind, an interesting mind, a twisted mind, and also someone that can make me smile.
Abbey Lee Kershaw (via quotemadness)
Perpetual Commotion 