i wanna talk about it but i really dont wanna talk about it

Canceled then Stood up

Satruday i wasnt in any frame of mind to people, however I had plans. So while texting this guy around 10a to work out plans for 6p i fianlly hear back at 2p that he had a family emergency. No worries i totally understand. We cancel Saturday eveing. A small win for me as i didnt feel like my heart was ready to people.

So monday, my eveing plans changed leaving me wide open in schedualing so i texted him and offered my open schedual to him.

Sure! Where? When? Okay i can head over about 645p.

I get to the restaurant at 650p because im always early.

I texted at 7:09p “im here but just waiting in my car enjoying the rain txt me when you get here”

7:25p- “did something come up?”

8p *all messages unread*

“Im not sure what happened. You said you be out the door about 645p and i get life happens, but i got no communcation either… ive been here an hour im gonna head home, grab my drink and get comfy for the night. Maybe we can try again another time”

I have no clue what happened. But i dont have time in my life for flakes or fakes.

I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions. In order to do that, I had to stop being afraid to feel. In order to do that, I taught myself to believe that no matter what I felt or what happened when I felt it, I would be okay.

Iyanla Vanzant

(via wordsnquotes)

Source: thequotejournals.com

Sit quietly with yourself and know: you are big enough to hold all this pain inside you, and still have room for love.

writing prompt #32: write about healing • Chelsea Skye (via wnq-writers)

Source: wnq-writers.com

https://open.spotify.com/track/5yLkd6S6MpWH1Lx6eF7nsy?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio

I am loved. Thank you my friends💞

With more love comes the possibility of more pain. It is what it is.

Source: t.umblr.com

Sick

I just want to throw up. The pressure in my chest from my heart is unreal. Like vomiting would reduce the pressure but it just my heart. realistically, it’s just emotions that i can see the whole picture, yet changes absolutely nothing to how i feel… the heart wants what it wants.