Polyamory: Things No One Tells You
- Bragging about all the sex you’re going to have with your partners when in reality, finding more than one person who is in the mood at the same time is a sport
- Joking about how ugly you are and then getting on the group chat to see that your partners made a poll titled “Is _ Pretty” where the only answers are “Yes,” “Also yes,” and “Yes but in blue”
- Saying we’ll all go out to fancy eating places or cute shops for a group date, when in reality it’s a Skype session where at least one person ends up late for work/falling asleep
- Basing everyone’s cuddle position on who likes the wall side better
- One person giving another a compliment, which turns into everyone complimenting each other in an endless loop of positive affirmation
Holy crap
The amount of curve balls thrown my way in the last 24 hrs…… yeah emotions are outrageous when I’m crying over FB good deed videos, or puppy ads… ugh. I dont cry.
This weekend I have a couples massage planned for hubby b-day and dinner with him. Then Sunday’s puzzle room with his friends and Panda will be there. I need this weekend to be good. I need some positive things. I think I need a damn hug.
*sick friend *evcuated friends from massive wildfire in nor-cal *a friend hurting in her relationship *threats at work being investigated *massive upcoming IEP battle *emotional scars *family drama
The list goes on but that’s just the foreground stuff.
Well damn
I might have jinxed myself.
The past issues with new to poly could be finding me in a similar situation again…. just got to wait and see. But the fear and scars fucking make my head a mess right now. Thanks PTSD *eye roll*
And my Friday night date….. canceled
At least he communcated and if not lying has valid reasons for canceling
*sigh* my heart hurts. *crawls back in bed*
*rescheduled date to much later tonight*
Was a flop. No connection or chemistry
You need someone who wants to be there when it’s messy and when it’s hard, not just when it’s fun and when it’s convenient. And you need someone who chooses you when it might not be the easiest choice. And you need someone who would rather do nothing with you than anything in the world with someone else.
“I must learn to fall into others without falling out of myself.”
— Emily Byrnes
Triggers
Life has a way of letting you think you’ve healed, delt with previous heartaches and tramua and moved on… only to sucker punch you in the gut when you least expect it to happen.
No ones fault, no one knows, it just happens. Like a busy waiter who drops a full tray of dishes. A mess on the floor, shock, but you can stand there dumbfounded staring at the mess…. or you can start picking up the mess. One thing at a time to keep moving forward.
I knew it messed me up good, was one of the reasons I went back to therapy…but as I move forward with my life I guess it messed me up and added another level to the PTSD
Perpetual Commotion 