Last night 10/17/16- MM. >rated R<

Well when i call someone on thier bluff most the time im very disappointed. I find someone that i click with and the have no intentions of meeting in real life they just wanted to have fun texting. Last night i wasn’t disappointed.

I made an offer to drive to MM, and despite how busy he was. He welcomed me. Finished washing out the freshly dyed purple hair and tossed on a flannel and jeans. (He said he likes me in flannels)

As a cute thing i brought cheesecake. (Both of our favorite.) I expected nothing i was happy to see him, hear him, hug him. If more happened i was willing, but i knew i had no expections.

I felt respected. He showed me around his shop. We talked. As friends. I was more comfortable with him than i expected to be. But still so nervous. But hes even better looking in person. His movements and voice where lighting me on fire. I could feel my knees weak and feet shaking. I cant remember half the shit we talked about. I was so hypnotized by him. He could of barked orders my way and i would have submitted willingly

While talking i had to remove a nipple clamp it was becoming painful. He seemed shocked i had done as he mentioned. He expressed he wanted to see them but
Being in front of large windows made me very uncomfortable. His eyes felt like they could tear me apart. I couldn’t hold eye contact. I felt vulnerable. I’d always blushed and giggled. He thought it was cute.
He walked over standing while i was seated on the couch he played with my hair trying to calm me down. Placed my head on his hip. But each pass through my hair only left me wanting him to grab a handful and take control. But he said a few times he wanted to build trust. I insanely trust him already why? I dont know.
He handed me a vibe and told me to play while he took off his pants. Never has watching someone undress been such turn on. He joined me. handled my lady parts with such gentle care. I came with minimal effort. He stood up and i was more than eager to have him in my mouth. I could feel his resistance. He said it had been so long since hes been blown. Hearing that only made me want to conquer that more. My hands wanted to explore..my mouth as well. Our position didnt make for the best abilty to do so, but i was fallowing his lead. He tasted good, smelled amazing, and i for a moment checked out in pleasure, as he joined in and thrusted forward. He came. And w/o second thought i did my best to swallow all of him.
I wanted more. I wanted so badly to kiss his lips. But i was thankful for the time he gave me. I relized how i had been trained in the past and how it still has me fallow those rule. I asked for a hug before leaving. And i felt like putty in his arms. He told me to let him know when i was home safely. People like that are rare in today’s world.
The drive home was like riding on a cloud. I know time will decide what or where this goes but for the frist time in a long time im holding my breath this one lasts a while.

i find it rather shocking how much wolf had me trained but that knowledge will help me undo it

Coffee?

I have been feeling low self confidence. And fighting a cold, Gained some weight back, feeling crummy. While talking to this new guy 3 days now (will call him eyes) I shared that my 10am meeting got pushed back to 11a

Eyes told me his 10-11a canceled

I never put myself out there to be shot down but I said fuck it and text

“Damn that would be a good time to meet for coffee if I wasn’t just getting over a cold”

Eyes reply :“We could still, I don’t care about colds It’s not like we will be making out”

My heart does a high dive back flip into my stomach. Did I just get accepted? And he wants a friendship first. Sweet!

Eyes asked “starbucks?”

“Definitely but you’ll have to be a little more specific there’s like 500 of them bad boys” as I laughed out loud in walmart. I was there buying make up. Trying to pick up my own self esteem but damn eyes accepting my invite put a pep in my step and a spark in my smile.

We set up to meet at 10a, I picked a small box starbucks w/ only patio seating. Makes for less awkward inside or outside choices and open air and sunlight.

Fix my hair, make up, and out the door.
*forgets anxiety meds & hard candy*

Talk to my BFF on the way
“Omg I’m going to coffee with hot guy”
Safety convo like normal and I let her go.

He pulls in, I knew it was him. I wait for him to get to the patio. He looks so confused by the no inside only walk up window. It’s a cute look on him. He’s wearing the same shirt as the picture he sent me. I walk up and he opens his arms to hug me. Like an old friend he hasn’t seen in a while. *giggles* Warm hug exchanged. And we order drinks.

I was raised going Dutch is the right thing to do. But I order my drink pull out my sbux card and he adds his drink to.the order and pays. This sends my mind spinning. I am so not used to this. He gave them his name for the order. I just smiled.

We sit down and talk. He seems so relaxed like he’s known me forever. I’m a ball of nerves. He gets both our drinks when the barista calls him.

He put his phone face down, listens to me babble about my kids & family. His eyes peirce me but I want to just stare. He’s so handsome in person. I wanted to touch him. 1040a I had to go to catch my 11a appointment I so didn’t want to leave.. I could have spent the whole day with him.

He walks towards the parking lot telling me how great it was to meet me. Hugs me and tells me “I’d kiss you but your still getting over that cold” *splash goes the heart again* “ya I don’t need to share my cooties with ya” I laughingly respond.

I think this high will last the day. I’m gunna try to just enjoy it. Because this could be awesome.

Eyes and I started talking 9/6 he is in a open marriage 15yrs 2 kids this could work out well. But is this another too good to be true again? Also local dating is new always been long distance and it sounds like his wife likes the idea of meeting and handing out with the others partners only time will tell

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