Nor-cal, 33y.o, mom, wife, spoonie…. My life is one of those "had to be there" jokes. Think of it as a peek in to my mind. some NSFW/18+ only please, all most everything is a repost from other social media platform that i can relate with or love. Common topics include: Moon, Space, Coffee, Love, Depression, feelings, poly, ASD & Fibromyalgia
Wow. Love the support. Its oddly comforting knowing so many ppl love support or simply understand polyamory.
Bestie convinced me to share my story online 9 mths ago. And now with 500 people fallowing this small secondary blog i wanna hug you all.
Thanks for the fallows, comments, hearts and for simply being you.
But she said, where’d you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I’m not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts
Some superhero
Some fairytale bliss
Just something I can turn to
Somebody I can kiss
Everyones poly looks different.
Im married, my poly has hierarchy structure.
Some do, some dont.
I never want to cross a line in someone else marriage. I respect their marriage and personal boundaries.
Please dont let NRE make a mess of things.
Communcation and consent
I had no clue chatting with you meant so much. I stepped back because you needed to work on your marriage.. “new to poly” is always messy…. I hope you are well. And that your “ttyl” was true….
😞😕😔
So i had that awesome coffee date turn dinner. We shall call him WILTON..until a better nickname sticks. we clicked sooo well. Im mind blown how nervous i was going, but i walked in saw him. Hugged and we started talking all my nervousness was gone. I was transparent shared my IG with him so his wifey could scope me out. I dont want waves or to be a thorn in anyones side.
well… something pulled the plug on things until they feels they are stable. I bowed down, nothing personal i get it. I kinda saw it coming. Just sucked we clicked so well.
As for Tower and I.
I had a few issues. NRE prematurely died, somethings needed addressed and i needed to express my dislikes. I suck at communication when emotional so i typed a long , organized my thoughts and shared. Took me days to do so i didnt expect an answer. Only time and physically showing me he got what i meant would change things.
I have more transparency now from him, hes going through a lot, his lifes been a little messy, but sees how important effort is for me, for us.
Today we talked, cuddles and re connected. I feel a lot better. We shall see whay transpires from here.
Bestie & hubby are over Tower and I. They feel hes spread to thin and i deserve more than he can give. But they support my choices to see what comes from change.
Hubby and i are well. Hes been fallowing my kink blog and has learned a few need tricks. Hes super supportive of a 4 day trip im fixing to take with sis. We are good. And i like when we are good!
Happy heart for the moment
Today my nurse from yesterday asked About my visitors yesteday. I had told her my hubby was coming to take my valuables home. And suprized my BF came in. We held hands and puppy eyed eachother. When hubby got there i had introduced him. So she was confused. It was the frist time i openly answered yes the frist visitors was my boyfriend the 2nd was my hubby with our kids. She asked how longni had been separated. I said im not. Been together 15 yrs im polyamorous and yes they both know. We where suposed to all go out but i got admitted here. She was impressed and happy for me. Said most ppl who have a husband and a boyfriend end up woth hallway fights out side there rooms lol intold her we all know and im very lucky to have both loving guys in my life.
That was the most freeing honest moment ever
For me its always brought forth a level of understanding, some kind of commitment, connection, comfort.
This dont have a label. Currently its two people really interested in eachother. Butterflies and NRE, Crazy life’s, making time when we can, and it gets phyical every other time we see eachother because the chemistry pops!
I’m not a gf, yet it dont feel casual to either of us. I understand his limits, restriction and respect them. He “gushes” about me to his others. I could comfortably call him a bf, im mostly content with what this is. ( to early for some things like kink talked have yet to try)
so… hubby calls him my bf, 2 friends whom know im polyamorous call him my bf……
Titles just comfort me. But his hugs and kisses comfort me, him listening, his friendship…. and i think I’ll just keep enjoying what i got in the moment.
Perpetual Commotion 