“Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you’re in love or you’re partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something.”
— (via bl-ossomed)
Laying in bed with my love.
He wanted to talk, catch up. Its Been such a crazy week. And being apart for 4days wasn’t easy. I shared a song that made me think of him this week. Shared parts of converstions, thoughts and emotions. Did my homework for Monday’s appoinemnt, and just spent time together.
We are in such a better place together now. And this week has been a test to all the changes we have made.
I think the most touching thing said tonight,
“You told me your scared, but i am too, im happy to see you eyes sparkle again, i know you’ve miss him. But remeber the break up didnt just effect you alone last time, so yes im scared too.”
I cant ask for a more loving supportive husband. Our crazy life is never short of a realty tv show. He listens to my happiness, and comforts my sadness. Celebrates my joys and protects my broken peices.
Today was a monday that I cant say i saw coming.
My day started out with texts that My daughter was in early stages of labor. I got up and left town in 30 min to make the 2hr drive to her, shes 2 weeks early, and today my baby girl, gave birth to her first child. a healthy baby boy 6lb 11oz, 19inches . She did amazing, and impressed me how much shes grown in 9mths..
💙💚💛💙💚💛
Parenting makes weird full circles when grandkids come around. I am Nonna, an name close to my own heart. And i think shes gunna be a fantastic Momma bear
💙💚💛💙💚💛
I also had a more, in-depth, lengthy conversation with someone today. Someone, i honestly didnt think i would cross paths with again. I’m not sure if Im more shocked😮, or scared of being hurt again😞. BUT the excitement is welcomed and was honestly missed. 😶😏☺
With the many different directions my 2018 has gone in such a short time, I can’t even pretend to have an idea what lays ahead. But im excited, and kinda 🦋butterflies and dare i say bumblebees 🐝😂🤣😂
“Are you going out this week?” Asks my friend
“Nope, things aren’t okay on his side” I say
“what’s with you, your so understanding towards others” she thinks im on another dead end path
“Ive been there… Both sides actually” I shrug
“So you have a map you know how to make it work?” *i laugh*
“Everyone’s poly is different, and I’m not pushing anyone any direction.” I explained
Laughing she asked me “what is it about him? You learned with tower not to hold on to broken things. You learned memories tend to become sweeter than whats really going on with wolf. You should have feelers out for someone new before this ends and breaks you.”
*sigh* “it’s not like a toy. I dont just replace it with a new toy when its not working. I cant even say this isn’t working. I am still on cloud nine. The effort is being made that makes me feel valued and important. Nothing worth value is easy nor, is life ever fucking easy. For anyone, especially me. He still lights me up. Without a single touch. It’s kinda out of his control, I dont really wanna talk to new people… I’ll see it through whatever comes of it.”
But i will admit. It kinda sucks
Current update
So i had that awesome coffee date turn dinner. We shall call him WILTON..until a better nickname sticks. we clicked sooo well. Im mind blown how nervous i was going, but i walked in saw him. Hugged and we started talking all my nervousness was gone. I was transparent shared my IG with him so his wifey could scope me out. I dont want waves or to be a thorn in anyones side.
well… something pulled the plug on things until they feels they are stable. I bowed down, nothing personal i get it. I kinda saw it coming. Just sucked we clicked so well.
As for Tower and I.
I had a few issues. NRE prematurely died, somethings needed addressed and i needed to express my dislikes. I suck at communication when emotional so i typed a long , organized my thoughts and shared. Took me days to do so i didnt expect an answer. Only time and physically showing me he got what i meant would change things.
I have more transparency now from him, hes going through a lot, his lifes been a little messy, but sees how important effort is for me, for us.
Today we talked, cuddles and re connected. I feel a lot better. We shall see whay transpires from here.
Bestie & hubby are over Tower and I. They feel hes spread to thin and i deserve more than he can give. But they support my choices to see what comes from change.
Hubby and i are well. Hes been fallowing my kink blog and has learned a few need tricks. Hes super supportive of a 4 day trip im fixing to take with sis. We are good. And i like when we are good!
Happy heart for the moment
Perpetual Commotion 