Habits

I tend to get in a routine. I like comfortable. Safe. Secure.

But I know I enjoy connections, going out, doing, pushing limits of my own anxiety and norms.

I am happy in My …. ummm not sure what it is.. but I’ll call it a relationship because so many levels apply with that word.

Hubby and I are also in a good place.

I have had someone asking to meet me for weeks now. And to be honest I haven’t wanted to at all, moody and depression and more than anything I’m happy and I dont want any waves to change that. But that’s not how life works. Nor is it healthy. Defantly not the way poly works for me. But monogamous norms try to pull me in to comfortable.

So I have dinner plans friday. Meeting a new person. Facing my anxieties and being social for my own good.

I see my Panda on Sunday and his Wife, which I’m over the moon excited about. In a more platonic situation, I do so miss him.

This years been quiet a rollercoaster. So let see what craziness the last 53 days hold.

Canceled then Stood up

Satruday i wasnt in any frame of mind to people, however I had plans. So while texting this guy around 10a to work out plans for 6p i fianlly hear back at 2p that he had a family emergency. No worries i totally understand. We cancel Saturday eveing. A small win for me as i didnt feel like my heart was ready to people.

So monday, my eveing plans changed leaving me wide open in schedualing so i texted him and offered my open schedual to him.

Sure! Where? When? Okay i can head over about 645p.

I get to the restaurant at 650p because im always early.

I texted at 7:09p “im here but just waiting in my car enjoying the rain txt me when you get here”

7:25p- “did something come up?”

8p *all messages unread*

“Im not sure what happened. You said you be out the door about 645p and i get life happens, but i got no communcation either… ive been here an hour im gonna head home, grab my drink and get comfy for the night. Maybe we can try again another time”

I have no clue what happened. But i dont have time in my life for flakes or fakes.