Nor-cal, 33y.o, mom, wife, spoonie…. My life is one of those "had to be there" jokes. Think of it as a peek in to my mind. some NSFW/18+ only please, all most everything is a repost from other social media platform that i can relate with or love. Common topics include: Moon, Space, Coffee, Love, Depression, feelings, poly, ASD & Fibromyalgia
Hubby is exhausted from working in the heat
Boyfriend is with his other for her birthday
New guy im crushing is slammed with work & family just returning from his vaction.
Im laying in bed, solo, hurting from unplanned root canal and chronic pain flare up before throat surgery on monday
Poly isnt about the sex nor is it always having my arms full.
But she said, where’d you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I’m not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts
Some superhero
Some fairytale bliss
Just something I can turn to
Somebody I can kiss
Everyones poly looks different.
Im married, my poly has hierarchy structure.
Some do, some dont.
I never want to cross a line in someone else marriage. I respect their marriage and personal boundaries.
Please dont let NRE make a mess of things.
Communcation and consent
Such a cute song.
I dont care who sees tower and i, thats a new feeling
I dont care who sees, devin dawson
I had no clue chatting with you meant so much. I stepped back because you needed to work on your marriage.. “new to poly” is always messy…. I hope you are well. And that your “ttyl” was true….
😞😕😔
So i had that awesome coffee date turn dinner. We shall call him WILTON..until a better nickname sticks. we clicked sooo well. Im mind blown how nervous i was going, but i walked in saw him. Hugged and we started talking all my nervousness was gone. I was transparent shared my IG with him so his wifey could scope me out. I dont want waves or to be a thorn in anyones side.
well… something pulled the plug on things until they feels they are stable. I bowed down, nothing personal i get it. I kinda saw it coming. Just sucked we clicked so well.
As for Tower and I.
I had a few issues. NRE prematurely died, somethings needed addressed and i needed to express my dislikes. I suck at communication when emotional so i typed a long , organized my thoughts and shared. Took me days to do so i didnt expect an answer. Only time and physically showing me he got what i meant would change things.
I have more transparency now from him, hes going through a lot, his lifes been a little messy, but sees how important effort is for me, for us.
Today we talked, cuddles and re connected. I feel a lot better. We shall see whay transpires from here.
Bestie & hubby are over Tower and I. They feel hes spread to thin and i deserve more than he can give. But they support my choices to see what comes from change.
Hubby and i are well. Hes been fallowing my kink blog and has learned a few need tricks. Hes super supportive of a 4 day trip im fixing to take with sis. We are good. And i like when we are good!
Happy heart for the moment
As person
*whom has explained their previous scars
*has asked you to not ask “hows your day” if you don’t have the time to really chat
*has told you how i feel in regards to your newest addition squashing our NRE prematurely
*has watched her take major priority on your calendar and free time
As a person whos lovey dovey GIF was left all day on READ because weekends you go MIA when with her.
I have gotten your messages. Not in text, not voice, but by actions.
Your game, is well played.
You looked so well put together.. i was so impressed by you.
But i have seen now, you are flighty and have no real plan. You have no real dominance after all. Another fake.
I dont know that this is the game i want to play anymore.
Im not a convenience.
Im a person who let down my walls for someone who lives one NRE high to the next. 😔
4/21
coffee turned into dinner
530p-1030p
He was so easy to talk to.
He understands how family is my everything.
We laughed so much.
He gives hugs that make me feel completely comforted.
im glad i went… i almost canceled
He needs a code name….hmmm
look back edit: 🐝
“We should see each other more”
“We should make time”
“We need to have an evening date”
Im not sure who this we is because your the one not available. Your the one whom added someone to your polycule, who seems to have all your free time. I knew time was a commodity you had little of. But things definitely changed. i have tried to suggest time, but then i dont have the link to your google calender as she does.
Im not making the effort to get on you calendar. You want me there…. you’ll make it happen.
Things have changed. And i dont wanna be physical until i know your still invested more than sex. This is why the L word scares me because i let down my walls only to have to start building again.
Things where going good. High on NRE. Then she came along and went from friend to gf in record speed.
Now she has your time on the weekends, sometimes evenings on weekdays too.
One day a week for 4 hrs if im lucky.
Conversations have lessened
Im scared i fell into another trap.
We shall see
Perpetual Commotion 