Today my nurse from yesterday asked About my visitors yesteday. I had told her my hubby was coming to take my valuables home. And suprized my BF came in. We held hands and puppy eyed eachother. When hubby got there i had introduced him. So she was confused. It was the frist time i openly answered yes the frist visitors was my boyfriend the 2nd was my hubby with our kids. She asked how longni had been separated. I said im not. Been together 15 yrs im polyamorous and yes they both know. We where suposed to all go out but i got admitted here. She was impressed and happy for me. Said most ppl who have a husband and a boyfriend end up woth hallway fights out side there rooms lol intold her we all know and im very lucky to have both loving guys in my life.

That was the most freeing honest moment ever

April 1, 2017 0

Hubby… wants this as his wedding ring tattoo. We have talked about doing them for a long time. His linenof work rings are dangerous. Recently he said he wants the poly symbol. Its been apart of our life for a long time. The eternity & heart alone means a lot, but the double meaning brings me to tears. my love, loves me whole, unconditionally and i couldnt ask for a better life partner.

March 27, 2017 0

I didnt know what to expect. This weekend felt like a little distance was taking place. Tower has NRE with another gal right now too. Im happy for him. I know how NRE can help depression and drive. I just was worried it would cause ours to fizz out faster.

Today was our little get away. I rented a car grabbed him and we headed 2hrs to san fran. The weather said rain and cold was to be expected. It rained like hell on the way to san fran. Once arrived wow it was a beautiful day.
Some sight seeing and off to to the science meauem. What a wonderful day.
Sat by the ocean for a bit even snuggled.
Dinner at the SAME restaurant chain our first dinner out (the night he met hubby) technically our first solo dinner date.
The hotel is an adorable cottage like place. The whole trip has been amazing.
Now for snuggles.

March 22, 2017 0

We told our daughter

She 17 and we talk alot. She kinda thought hubby and i had something going on, more don’t ask don’t tell. but her “i wanna be like dad and mom” fairytale, is a little dented but shes said shes okay with it. She understands how me being a mom at 16 and hubby being a stick in the mud leaves me wanting more in life and shes glad it works for us. She said she understands all the advice I’ve given a little better now. she wants things to stay respectfully hushed seeing anything more than a hug would bother her. i appreciated her telling me that. But shes not ashamed because hubby and i are happy. And she noticeably sees how it improves me in general. She is pissed her older brother knew before her.(other issues unrelated got talked about in that mess) But i told he out right asked me. She and i had a nice heart to heart talk while at er last night i told hubby i think shes ready to know. He was more than ready to tell her already. She knows im going to be going to sf with bf next week. I told her i wont be posting cheesy kissing pics on social media.

I feel so much better with her knowing.p

March 13, 2017 0

The L word

I dont use red hearts emoji any color but red because to me it means a speical kind of love. The kinda love i have only had with my hubby. The only kind of love that has lasted in my life. I have been hurt so many times.

Yet i can love more than one person, been poly 8 yrs and truly ever loved 2 out side of my lion.

This summer someone latched on while feeling NRE and *fell in love* with me and got jealousof my kids and hubby. He went bye bye real quick. I dont have time for that or to explain how unhealthy that even is. Im married, and happy. And that isnt fucking changing.

Tower and I are fireworks and butterflies. Thanks NRE. Now i think we are dancing around that word. And i told him that word bothers me. But we never got into why.

Today while with bff she asked “what if on ur trip he says he loves you, are you gunna dump him and run?” No!

But i dont know that i can say it back because so many times in my life i tell someone i love then and i lose them. The feelings might be there but the label of loving them makes me fearful of possibly being hurt.

March 11, 2017 0

March 9, 2017 0

February 27, 2017 0

Huge night

Oh my poly friends/fallowers i had to share. I went to a birthday party for my ….. no label…. and all his poly peeps were there. I dont mingle and i dont like my poly-cule bubbles tounching, i like my relationships (bubbles) solo. but i knew it would mean a lot to him if i could overcome anxiety and come to his birthday party…..

Lots and lots on anxiety meds, bff pep talk and i did it. I went for 3 hrs

My favorite part was catching him watching me to make sure i was okay, from across the room. His smile was like a comforting hug.
He walked me out and shared how much he appreciated me coming. Another speical night.

February 26, 2017 0

Whats a label?

For me its always brought forth a level of understanding, some kind of commitment, connection, comfort.

This dont have a label. Currently its two people really interested in eachother. Butterflies and NRE, Crazy life’s, making time when we can, and it gets phyical every other time we see eachother because the chemistry pops!

I’m not a gf, yet it dont feel casual to either of us. I understand his limits, restriction and respect them. He “gushes” about me to his others. I could comfortably call him a bf, im mostly content with what this is. ( to early for some things like kink talked have yet to try)

so… hubby calls him my bf, 2 friends whom know im polyamorous call him my bf……

Titles just comfort me. But his hugs and kisses comfort me, him listening, his friendship…. and i think I’ll just keep enjoying what i got in the moment.

February 22, 2017 0

The meeting

Tonight hubby came home from work. Wanted to go to dinner. I didnt have anything in mind. He asked me to invite Tower. WHAT, ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?
Hubby is mono and i am poly. And his interest in meeting tower shocked me. Tower normally has plans on Saturdays so i expected a no but asked via text. And holy crap dinner plans landed.

BJ restaurant 😂😂😂oh the humor knowing my Oral fixation. Hubby wanted to sit across from tower and i and so we did. I as so nervous because hubby is harsh and brass and and asshole to most before u get ef to know him…. Kinda like shrek. Layers. But it went really well.

Dinner went well. Hubby and tower are both super sleepy so im up late solo enjoying the happiness And i am on Cloud 9.

February 5, 2017 0