“Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you’re in love or you’re partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something.”
— (via bl-ossomed)
Two texts that made my heart happy today….
- “I’m happy that I found you…you are introducing me into something I wouldn’t have thought about trying ever…but I like your personality and how you think. I like how we flow and just get along…its been a really long time since I’ve had that…its refreshing and nice!I love what we have and what we are building!!I’m lucky to have you.”
- “I have a bad habit of staring lol I cant help it though, someone as beautiful and amazing as you!! 😊😚”
💗My heart is so happy💗
Holy shit
6.3.18
A successful date with someone I have been talking too. We got to meet up for wings.
His transparency leaves me in shock. And feels like a trap because it’s so refreshing.
We met up for a early dinner as he as a early riser for work. My anxiety was high like normal but I calmed down after a while. After lots of rambling. I am at a point I’ll just spill my drama and crazy life and if people wanna stick around I’ll be shocked. He doesn’t seem bothered by my crazy. Only big down fall, hes never done polyamory before. That scares me a bit. Just due to my own past. But everyone’s different. He asked questions and legitimately listens.
I’d like to see where this goes. Keeping my hands to myself was hard because his hug made me weak in the knees. We fit together in the hug so well I could get lost.
Time will tell.
I recently this year came out as poly to a handfull of people. Our daughter, a few more friends, and more public in general. in a converstion i expressed this thought. forgive me if peices are missing. With that thought in the image above. We live in a world that tells us, to tell people how we feel because tomorrow is never promised…
Yet newer relationships.. we are afraid to say I love you, especially afraid to say it first, in fear of scaring the other person off, because love is huge. Some how love has gotten paired with other words like always and forever that loving someone now is scary. however, Love is non transactional. Just because one person feels that way, it does not hold the other person to an obligation to say it back. while we feel our best when we are loved in return, it still not an obligation to feel that way in return. grated it can feel like you’ve been handed a fragile heart, but honesty is all you can offer, maybe you dont LOVE them but like them beyond words. that is your feelings. If they feel love for another person, then they should freely be able to express that love, it doesn’t always mean forever, love doesn’t mean marriage, love has sooo many different types and phases of love To tell someone you love them is just a much larger complement than telling them “hey I really like that top on you it brings out your eyes” “i really like spending time with you”, “i really appreciate and value our time together” to tell someone you love them is much like a compliment to them and an expression of anothers feelings. we cannot control our feelings but we can control our actions. our feelings are valid. im not saying the minute NRE has you in a whirlwind of butterflies and bubbles blurt out I love you, but really think about you feelings and express with honesty and no obligation other than honesty and respect back…
🐝 & ♘
♘> hes so stressed. We have a gut feeling the company he works for is sinking. We had one buckle under us with no notice just poof no job one Monday morning, so seeing this scares the fuck out of him. Hes done with the heat. Hes done with the crew. So hes finally going to persue an offer for a huge merging company who his BFF works for, this could be better benifits, more pay, and sun/monday would be his weekends.
I personallyhate change so im scared.
We had a rough start on our hike Saturday morning but the day improved, had his friends over some beers and some really good US time. I know his mind will be on this job change thing this week. Plus temps 105-113*f this week expected. So hes gunna be beat.
🐝> His Life’s been pulling him in so many directions. But he still finds time for the non-verbal communication. ( tagging me in a sweet Tumblr posts, checking mine, short quick texts, Ww/F turns, goodnights texts or posts) and that means so much to me. More than i can explain. Its small but priceless effort to let me know im still on your mind like your on mine. 17 days since our last date, i miss him like crazy. He improves my mood, makes me smile, and calms my mind with ease. We both have crazy busy lives (mines quieted a lot with 2/4 kids moved out) so im learning more patients. My walls are coming down. Im not sure if thats a good idea yet.
On a side note. My ex bf 🗼 keeps poking his head on social media, and random hi’s but nothings changed he still cant hold a conversation to where i feel he gives a fuck when asked “how are you?”
Perpetual Commotion 